Starting Over After Divorce
Is it better to walk away from an unhealthy marriage or to stay? This is a question millions of people have struggled with. Many people don’t know if they have what it takes when it comes to starting over after a divorce.
It’s an internal struggle that for many can go on for months or years. And some go through choosing a bad marriage vs divorce more than once in their lifetime with different partners.
Letting go of a bad marriage
When stats show that 4 out of 5 marriages end in divorce there’s obviously a lot of people that make the decision it’s better to walk away than stay. So if you’re ready to call it quits you are certainly not alone.
There are so many reasons why people reach this dilemma in life, questioning “should I go or should I stay”. It’s such a huge life changing decision to make and needs to be taken very seriously. Always look at the pros and cons to help you decide what’s best. And make sure you’ve done your best to try to resolve issues.
But if things are really bad it’s really time that you should to decide.
Why do so many relationships fail?
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When we first met she was married, for both her and her husband it was not their first marriage. They never had children together but both had children from previous marriages. His were younger and lived with their mom during the week and spent alternate weekends and some holidays with them. My friend’s kids were older and already out on their own.
I think this was my friends 2nd husband or it may have even been her 3rd marriage. I didn’t know him and only met him briefly a few times. A few years later they had divorced. And a while after that I got an invite to her wedding (#3 or 4).
Is divorce the answer?
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She met someone else who now she is with and they’ve been together for 11 years.
My friend assured me that she’s finally met “the one” and at last she’s happy and living with the right partner. She came to realize she’d always ended up with the same type of men, very controlling men. She said I’m not a control freak myself and finally for the first time in my life I’m with someone that isn’t controlling either. And it feels so good, we get along great and we are happy together.
When should you get a divorce?
I know other people that have done the same thing. They kept getting involved with the same type of 
men or women never having a lasting relationship. So is divorce the answer when your in an unhappy marriage? Sometimes it takes a while to get it right. My friend never gave up believing there was someone right for her.
When there’s no fixing it! The time to get serious about divorce is when it’s a bad marriage and the parties are unhappy and miserable. When there’s no hope of the relationship improving and when you’ve stopped communicating. And you just don’t want to be together any more. Sometimes one may want to get a divorce to end the marriage and the other partner doesn’t.
Moving on after a breakup
So many people feel sure that they know everything there is to know about the person they are planning to spend their life with. Many come to realize that they really don’t know them as well as they thought. And other couples find themselves stating over after divorce because they’ve just grow apart. Often it’s because they have different values and priorities.
Opposites may attract but sometimes the very same thing that attracted them in the first place can be the very things that comes between them. Some may meet another person that they think they are more compatible with and move on with them. And others just want to find themselves and finally create the type of life they really want.
Why stay married?
When it comes to considering divorce it is more complicated for some couples than others, especially when there are children involved.
Being in an unhappy marriage can be bad for your health, and put your well being at risk. A lot of couples stay together for the sake of the family. They wait until their kids are older before calling it quits and feeling it’s okay to start over and pursue a new and better life.
How is life after Divorce?
If you’ve reached the point where you’re constantly stressed and unhappy it will soon start affecting your health if it hasn’t already. Lack of sleep causes lack of concentration and focus which could even lead to accidents.
Also it could lead to depression and a number of things that are not good for you or anyone. So why stay married if things are that bad?
It’s a fact that normally divorce has an impact on the family as a whole and can even affect friendships. Regardless of how old your kids are it’s bound to affect them in some way. And this can apply even when they are married and have kids of their own. But sometimes you just have to go ahead and do what you need to do and deal with the fall out later.
Relationships are complicated
The family is being broken up and things will be different going forward. And although they’ll be different it doesn’t mean they can’t work. In a way you’re all stating over after divorce because life will be different.
Life is short and you can’t spend your life miserable and unhappy in a bad relationship. Because that too will have an effect on your children. They can sense the strain in the relationship and become stressed, anxious and concerned for you too.
The key is to accept what is and try to make it as easy as possible for everyone. When couples end up so angry and bitter they often end up trashing each other. And many try to make their kids choose between them and keep secrets and this is totally wrong and unfair. Plus it can have a really bad outcome.
Surviving divorce emotionally
I’ve seen how some kids even when they’re quite young start acting out and getting into trouble. This is because they are feeling torn plus they’re hurt and angry. So do what needs to be done without dragging everyone through the mud.
If one in four marriages end in divorce obviously there are a tremendous amount of people very unhappy with their relationships out there. And it’s never easy to make such a huge life changing decision both to get married and to get divorced.
Getting your life back on track after divorce
There are many worries people have when they get divorced. Will they be able to get through it. Can the handle it emotionally, financially. Once the decision is made and you start taking action be sure to reach out to friends and family for support. Talk to those that have been through what you’re going through.
One thing you can be sure of with divorce stats being so high you won’t have to search far for someone that decided that divorce is the answer and can share their experience with you.
Restart your life after divorce
If people find their confidence and self esteem shaken up a bit when they get divorced this is totally natural. And they may even wonder if they can trust their own judgement, the good thing is that will soon pass.
Also once you decide you can do this, begin taking action and start building a new life for yourself everything will change.
Building a new life after divorce
You have an opportunity to explore what you want. And starting over after divorce gives you the chance to create a life that’s perfect for you. Just consider all the things you’ve always wanted to do and have put off.
Also you may love having this time to yourself, to get to know and understand yourself and your needs better. And one day you may be ready and better equipped for a new and better relationship.
Leaving an unhappy marriage
- It’s a chance to create a new and better version of you
- You”ll have more life experience,
- It will become more clear of what you want and what you don’t want
- It’s an opportunity to have the life you really want
- Make decisions that are best for you
- And it’s chance to discover and create your dream life
- You’ll get to meet new people
- it also clears the way for you to meet “the one”. Someone that may be the right partner for you.
- A time to do the things you want to do and that make you happy
- Do more of what you want, when you want to do it
The downside of starting over
- It affects a lot of other people too and can be hard on the family
- Being alone: when you’ve lived with someone for a long time even if it’s not been good you’ve had someone around. You adapt as you get used to being alone. But understand that being alone and being lonely are two different things.
- Finances: Often divorce can create hardship especially for a lot of women that divorce after 50. It depends on your circumstances, what assets you had and how they are divided. Plus your income status.
- Self esteem: And self worth can become shaky when you go through a major break up. Many have the feeling of being a failure and not good enough, it can rattle your confidence. But these can be overcome quite quickly.
- Starting over again: Although to start over can be exciting and lead to great things in the beginning it can be very intimidating. Once you know what you want and start taking action things can change fast.
How to be happy after divorce
It’s easy to feel like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore when you’re in a bad marriage. Well 
consider this when you leave an unhappy marriage you may lose your spouse but you may actually find yourself.
Reconnect with you, your desires, dreams and goals. Starting over over after divorce with a clean slate gives you a chance to design a life that you’ll love.
Think about all the things you may have given up and want back in your life. You’ll have more control over your future, become more independent, content and happy. So is divorce the answer for you?
What ever you decide to stay in the marriage or it’s starting over after divorce it’s definitely time to make changes in your life. You deserve to be happy! So muster up the courage and boldly state “I choose to take this opportunity and make life work for me”!
